"My husband and I made every excuse in the book not to come to [the Active Relationships Center/a presentation by Kelly Simpson], even though we had heard spectacular things about it.  We were too busy, it cost more than we wanted to pay (although we spent the money on countless things of much less value!), but the bottom line was that we were afraid that we would be uncomfortable.  After all, who wants to spend their valuable time dredging up difficult issues?  I suspect that fear keeps lots of people from going.  Eventually things got so bad that being uncomfortable in a course seemed the lesser of the two, just in case something about it might help.  Boy were we surprised.  We kicked ourselves for not going sooner.  My advice to anyone reading this, bite the bullet and go!  You'll be uncomfortable maybe for the first 20 minutes while you're figuring out what's happening around you.  After that you are amazed and having fun while making tremendous headway.  The men in the room will especially surprise you. They really get into to it, because it doesn't push them and because it is humorous and logical.  Don't wait like we did and prolong the agony.   Go for it!"  Theresa (account executive)

"My divorce attorney referred us to [Kelly Simpson at ARC].  We thought we wanted a divorce because we were miserable and just didn't know what else to do.   We just wanted to feel better and if we could do that by staying married, then the choice was to stay married.  We thought we had tried everything.  But we hadn't.  [Presentations by Kelly Simpson] are different.  They actually gave us usable tools.  We know what to do to resolve differences instead of going round and round.  We know what to do to care for each other's needs now.  Our life is very different after using the skills we learned [at ARC] over time.  We really like each other again!  We have fun!  And when we disagree, it's not so scary, frustrating or time consuming.  So we handle things as they come along.  We're friends again and there is real love and commitment.  What a tragedy divorce would have been."   Joan (teacher)

"Coming from a family where there wasn't much affection or talking about differences, I wondered how I would know how to make our relationship all it could be.  We had a good marriage, but I am grateful to have a husband who isn't afraid to learn new ways of communicating.  There are lots of people who say their marriage is fine, but who seem to be just getting through the endurance contest of life.  I didn't want to become like that.  We came [to Active Relationships Center] to see what new ways there are to keep love alive.   We found them.  Courses were full of humor, male friendly (the men really seemed surprised!) and had lots of really usable techniques for better communication, problem resolution in a fair, respectful manner, where both partners felt like winners, and tools for feeling connected as a team.  These are skills we will definitely teach our children."  Marilyn (corporate executive)

"I was in a lot of pain. I felt like having an affair.  I needed someone to notice I existed for more than the purpose of working.  I came real close to making some choices which could have been devastating.  Thankfully, I confided in a friend.  He had been going through [a course  presented by Kelly Simpson] and suggested I try it before making the other moves I was considering.   I really didn't want to go to a relationship skills course.  I didn't know what to expect.  I thought it would be some group therapy thing where everyone had to tell others about themselves.  That was the last thing I wanted to do.  I also worried that it would become an event whereby my wife would be giving me the elbow in the side every time the instructor mentioned characteristic flaws in couple communication.  It took a lot of courage for me to go to the seminar.  I could not have been more surprised.  No elbowing was allowed!  No one had to say a thing about themselves and the seminars were structured so that voluminous material and practice sessions occurred.  It wasn't just theory.  I learned that there was a lot of safety there for me.  I wasn't pushed.  My wife finally heard what I'd wanted her to know about my dilemma.   We learned how to be there for each other, not just me for her.  It was the best move I've made."  David (physician)

"We have been married 50 years!  We have had a great marriage.  In retirement, we wanted to see what else there was so that we could drink in all that life has to offer.  [Ms.Simpson's presentation on romance and intimacy] was great fun.  Wish we could have taken it years ago and will recommend it to everyone we know!" Marian (homemaker)

"I was going along in our marriage becoming indifferent to everything, going through the motions, with kids and maintaining a successful professional career.  I was not sure I had any feelings anymore.  I wondered if I REALLY still loved my wife.  [The   course on communications presented by Kelly Simpson] was easy to put off doing.  I thought of a million more pleasant activities than talking about what was a dying marriage...Finally I came to a point where it was either change within the marriage or get out.  I just couldn't stay on robotic control.   I am sorry that it took this to get me to [the course presented by Kelly Simpson].  Because to my surprise, the seminar was fun.  I found that I could do something to change the tide of the marriage.   It all made sense.  I feel like my wife finally understands what I've been going through.  We were able to find ways to bridge the gap and renew our pleasure."  Robert (engineer)

"All day at home with the kids.  I should have been happy, I thought,  but I felt like I was serving everyone and getting nothing back.  When I tried to talk to my husband about it, he got angry.  he said he worked hard too.  He didn't seem to care about me.  I felt lost, invisible.  We came to the Active Relationships Center because our family physician (in whom I had confided my stress) suggested it.  What I learned was that my husband was feeling the same way that I was.  Neither of us were getting our needs met.  That can really go with territory of having young children.  What we learned in the seminar helped us hear each other instead of drowning each out with our own needs.  Both of us have a renewed desire to do caring behaviors for the other.  Now we listen.  Whenever possible, our needs are met, and with genuine concern (instead of resentment).  We can talk about anything and can solve disagreements respectfully without dirty fighting.   We intend to model this for our kids so they'll have these skills too.  I am really appreciative of [the course presented by Kelly Simpson at ARC] and all the courses available to us."
Susan (homemaker)

"As a litigator, I have trained for years in convincing others of my point of view - like a competition.  I am also exceptionally good at pointing a finger or furrowing a brow to let others know what I expect of them.  I am used to getting what I want at work and am quite efficient.  I get  along well at the office.  Unfortunately, I have learned the hard way that these skills which serve me at the office, don't work at home.  When I arrived at the [presentation at ARC by Kelly Simpson] I was surprised to see how many other attorneys were in the room!  We all seemed to have great skills, but needed to learn a completely new way of relating at home.  [The presentation by Ms. Simpson on communication] was excellent.  I learned not to take myself so seriously and shared the humor in the room.  It changed how I will respond to my family forever.  My wife now understands why I had been doing the things the way I had.  We both laughed about it.  We're much better friends now and our children will be better for it.  I have also used skills [presented by Ms. Simpson] at the office to understand co-workers and clients better.  I'll recommend [communication presentations by Ms. Simpson] to colleagues and clients alike.  It changed my life."  Robert (attorney)

"My wife gave a [course on romance and intimacy presented by Kelly Simpson] weekend to me as an anniversary present.  I don't think I would have thought of it myself!  It was the greatest gift she could have given me though.   We had a great time, are armed with an arsenal of "how-to's" to use for ourselves.  We'll make communication skill a family legacy.  I hope our kids will do the communication programs before marriage.  It'll be our gift!" Rusty (firefighter)

"My husband had an affair.  I didn't really want to be divorced, but I wasn't sure I still loved him and I certainly didn't know whether I could really get over it.  I contemplated divorce.  I was hurt, confused and angry.  He was hurt too, for lots of reasons.  We didn't know what to do.  Our counselor suggested seminars [presented by Kelly Simpson]. We were pretty skeptical.  We definitely didn't want to talk about the affair in front of others.  But we mustered the courage and went.  I thought, after all, the courses couldn't be a lot worse than what we were already going through!  [The course presented by Kelly Simpson at ARC] helped us find one another again.  It helped us over the months of the course discover how we had gone off track and how we got into trouble.  We were able to do this in a way that didn't seem blaming.  We learned how to talk so that we could hear.  We learned how to genuinely listen to the other as a friend and confidant.  We began to rebuild trust.  The pariticipants of the seminars never knew about the affair issue, but were a wonderful bunch of couples and singles to share the experience with.  We found many things in common and could collectively laugh at ourselves.  I found it acceptable to be imperfect, so that I could allow myself to be truly known by my partner.  It was a profound experience.  For anyone out there with the circumstance of recovering from an affair.  It can be done.  Let [relationship skills courses presented at ARC] help." 
Lauren (homemaker)